WASIKAR SOYAYYA: MARGARET MEAD DA RUTH BENEDICT
Margaret Mead ya dawwama a matsayin fitacciyar masaniyar al'adu a duniya, wanda ba wai kawai ya shahara da ilimin halin ɗan adam ba amma kuma ya kafa harsashin juyin juya halin jima'i na shekarun 1960 tare da nazarin halayenta game da jima'i. Baya ga faɗaɗa tarurrukan al'adu ta hanyar aikinta, ta kuma ƙunshi juyin juya hali a rayuwarta ta sirri. Ta yi aure sau uku da maza, ta ƙaunaci mijinta na uku, sanannen masanin ilimin ɗan adam ɗan Burtaniya Gregory Bateson, wanda ta haifi 'ya mace tare da shi. Amma dangantaka mafi tsanani da dawwama a rayuwarta ta kasance tare da mace - masanin ilmin ɗan adam da kuma ƙwararrun mutane Ruth Benedict, Mead's mentor a Columbia jami'ar, shekaru goma sha huɗu da girma. Su biyun sun yi haɗin kai na girma da sha'awar da ba a saba gani ba, wanda ya kai tsawon karni kwata har zuwa ƙarshen rayuwar Benedict.
A watan Agustan 1925, Mead mai shekaru 24 ta tashi zuwa Samoa, ta fara tafiya da za ta samar da labaran da ke da tasiri sosai. Zuwan Shekaru a Samoa: Nazarin Ilimin Halitta na Matasa na Farko don Wayewar Yammacin Yamma. (Mead, wanda ya yi imani cewa "mutum zai iya son mutane da yawa kuma wannan ƙauna yana da nata wuri cikin dangantaka dabam-dabam,” ta yi aure a lokacin da mijinta na farko kuma sun yi shiri da bai dace ba da ya sa dukansu su bar ta ta yi aikin fage daga wurinsa na wani lokaci mai tsawo kuma ta amince da yadda take ji game da Ruth.) A rana ta huɗu ta huɗu. a teku, ta rubuta Benedict tare da sadaukar da kai da gaggawa:
"Ruth, masoyi zuciya,. . . Wasiƙar da na samu kafin in bar Honolulu kuma a cikin wasiƙar tawa ba zai fi kyau a zaɓi ba. Haruffa biyar daga gare ku - kuma, oh, ina fata za ku iya ji sau da yawa kusa da ku kamar yadda kuka yi - hutawa a hankali da dadi a hannunku. Duk lokacin da na gaji kuma na yi rashin lafiya tare da kewar ku koyaushe zan iya komawa in sake kama wannan la'asar a Bedford Hills wannan bazara, lokacin da sumbatar ku ta zubo a fuskata, kuma wannan ƙwaƙwalwar tana ƙare koyaushe cikin kwanciyar hankali, ƙaunatattuna. ”
Bayan 'yan kwanaki:
"Ruth, ban taɓa zama ɗan ƙasa ba a rayuwata - kuma duk da haka ban ƙara sanin ƙarfin ƙaunarki ba. Kun gamsar da ni abu ɗaya a rayuwa wanda ya sa rayuwa ta dace.
Ba ku da wata babbar kyauta, masoyi. Kuma kowane tunanin fuskarka, kowane sautin muryarka farin ciki ne wanda zan ci da yunwa a cikin waɗannan watanni masu zuwa. "
A wata wasika:
"[Ina mamakin] ko zan iya ci gaba da rayuwa, in so in ci gaba da rayuwa idan ba ku damu ba."
Kuma daga baya:
"Shin Honolulu yana buƙatar kasancewar ku na fatalwa? Oh, masoyi na - ba tare da shi ba, ba zan iya rayuwa a nan ba kwata-kwata. Leɓunanka suna kawo albarka - ƙaunataccena.
A watan Disamba na waccan shekarar, an ba Mead matsayi a matsayin mataimakiyar mai kula da kayan tarihi na Amurka, inda za ta ci gaba da ciyar da sauran ayyukanta. Ta yarda da farin ciki, a babban bangare don ta iya kusa da Benedict, kuma ta koma New York tare da mijinta, Luther Cressman, da tabbaci cewa dangantakar biyu ba za ta cutar da juna ba kuma ba za ta saba wa juna ba. Da zarar an yanke shawarar, ta rubuta wa Benedict a ranar 7 ga Janairu, 1926:
“Amincewarki ga shawarara itace jigo na, masoyi, in ba haka ba ni dai ba zan iya sarrafa ba. Kuma duk wannan soyayyar da kuka zubo mani, gurasa ce da ruwan inabi ga bukata ta kai tsaye. Kullum ina dawowa gareki.Na sumbaci gashin ki, sweetheart."
Kwanaki hudu bayan haka, Mead ta aika wa Benedict wasiƙa mai ban sha'awa, tana yin tunani a kan dangantakarta guda biyu da kuma yadda ƙauna ke yin fahariya na son rai:
"Ta wata hanya wannan zaman kaɗaici yana bayyana musamman - ta yadda zan iya karkata kuma in canza halayena ga mutanen da ba su da kwakkwaran abin kara kuzari sai dai kamar maɓuɓɓugar ruwa daga cikina. Zan ta da wani safiya kawai ina son ku a firgice ta wata sabuwar hanya kuma mai yiwuwa ban isa na goge barcin daga idona ba har na kalli hotonku. Yana ba ni wani baƙon, kusan rashin jin daɗin cin gashin kai. Kuma gaskiya ne cewa mun kasance tare da wannan ƙauna "kusa" don ban taɓa jin kun yi nisa ba don yin rada, gashi kuma masoyi koyaushe yana zamewa cikin yatsana. . . .Lokacin da na yi aiki mai kyau koyaushe yana gare ku… kuma tunanin ku yanzu yana sa ni farin ciki kaɗan da ba za ku iya jurewa ba.
Bayan makonni biyar, a tsakiyar watan Fabrairu, Mead da Benedict sun fara shirin tafiyar mako uku tare, wanda ya tabbatar, godiya ga jadawalin mazajensu, ya fi rikitarwa fiye da tunanin biyu na asali. Cikin jin haushin duk shirin, Margaret ta rubuta Ruth:
"Zan yi makanta sosai da kallon ku, ina tsammanin yanzu ba zai damu ba - amma abin da ke da kyau game da ƙaunarmu shi ne zai kasance. Ba mu zama kamar waɗancan masoya na Edward “yanzu suna barci kunci da kunci” da sauransu waɗanda suka manta da dukan abubuwan da ƙaunarsu ta koya musu su ƙauna—Precious, daraja. ina sumbantar gashin ku.”
A tsakiyar Maris, Mead ta sake kafu a cikin ƙaunarta ga Benedict:
"Ina jin 'yanci da dorewa sosai, watanni masu duhu na shakku sun wanke, kuma zan iya kallon ku da farin ciki a idanunku yayin da kuka ɗauke ni a hannunku. Masoyina! Kyakywata. Na gode wa Allah da ba ka yi ƙoƙari ka yi mini shinge ba, amma ka amince da ni in ɗauki rai kamar yadda ta zo in yi wani abu. Tare da wannan amincewar naku zan iya yin komai - kuma in fito da wani abu mai daraja ceto. Zaki, na sumbace hannuwanku.
Kamar yadda lokacin rani ya zo, Mead ya sami kanta kamar ƙauna tare da Benedict kamar lokacin da suka fara saduwa da shekaru shida kafin, rubuta a cikin wata wasika mai kwanan watan Agusta 26, 1926:
"Ruth mafi soyuwa, na yi farin ciki sosai kuma da alama an lalatar da manyan shafukan yanar gizo a Paris. Na yi baƙin ciki a ranar ƙarshe, na matso kusa da shakku fiye da kowane lokaci da ainihin halin ƙaunarmu ga juna. Kuma yanzu ina jin kwanciyar hankali da dukan duniya. Kuna iya tsammanin yana jaraba alloli su faɗi haka, amma na ɗauki duk wannan a matsayin babban garanti na abin da koyaushe nake shakkar yanayin yanayi - dawwamar sha'awa - da juyar da kai kawai, damar jujjuyar muryar ku kawai. mai yawa ikon yin rana a yanzu kamar yadda suka yi shekaru hudu da suka wuce. Kuma kamar yadda kina ba ni himma don in girma fiye da tsoro, haka kuma kina ba ni bangaskiyar da ban taɓa tunanin zan ci nasara ba a cikin dawwamar sha'awa. Ina sonki, Ruth."
A watan Satumba na 1928, yayin da Mead ke tafiya ta jirgin ƙasa don auri mijinta na biyu bayan aurenta na farko ya rushe, wata wasiƙar mai ban tausayi ga Ruth ta bar mu muyi hasashe game da abin da zai iya bambanta idan da sha'awar soyayya ta zamani ta kasance gaskiya a zamanin Mead. zai yiwu ita da Ruth su yi aure kuma su tsara haɗin kai a ƙarƙashin doka:
"Dan uwa,
[...]
Na yi barci galibi yau ina ƙoƙarin kawar da wannan sanyi ba wai in kalli ƙasar da na fara gani daga hannunku ba.
Galibi ina ganin ni wawa ce in auri kowa. Wataƙila zan sa mutum da kaina ba su ji daɗi ba. A halin yanzu mafi yawan mafarkina sun damu da rashin aure ko kadan. Ina mamakin ko son auren ba kawai wani shaida ne tare da ku ba, kuma na ƙarya. Don ba zan iya ɗauke ku daga Stanley ba kuma kuna iya ɗauke ni daga [Reo] - babu wannan ƙyalli.
[...]
Bayan ƙarfi da dawwama da duk abin da nake ji a gare ku, komai yana jujjuyawa yashi. Kuna damu sosai lokacin da na faɗi waɗannan abubuwan? Kada ku damu - har abada - wani abu a cikin cikakkiyar baiwar da Allah ya ba ni. Tsakanin rayuwata wani kyakkyawan wuri ne mai bango, idan gefuna sun kasance ɗan ciyayi da rago - da kyau, ita ce cibiyar da ta fi dacewa - My sweetheart, my beautiful, my lovely one.
Margaret ka"
A shekara ta 1933, duk da shirye-shiryen aurenta, Mead ta ji cewa ta tilasta mata ta cire ƙaunar da ta yi wa Benedict. A cikin wata wasiƙa zuwa ga Ruth daga ranar 9 ga Afrilu, ta yi tunani a kan waɗancan yunƙurin da haƙƙoƙin da aka samu na zabar 'yantar da waɗancan matsalolin da sake samun 'yancin yin soyayya sosai:
“Tun da na keɓe kaina da yawa, don amsa kuskuren da na yi imani shi ne wajabcin aurena ba ni da wani wuri don ci gaban tunani. … Ah, masoyi na, yana da kyau sosai in kasance da kaina don in sake son ku. . . . Wata ya cika kuma tafkin yana kwance kuma kyakkyawa - wannan wurin yana kama da Sama - kuma ina ƙaunar rayuwa. Barka da dare, masoyi."
A cikin shekarun da suka biyo baya, Margaret da Ruth sun binciko iyakokin sauran alaƙar su, ta hanyar ƙarin aure da haɗin gwiwa na gida, amma ƙaunarsu ga juna ta ci gaba da girma. A cikin 1938, Mead ya kama shi da kyau ta hanyar rubuta "ɗorewar abokantakarsu." Mead da mijinta na ƙarshe, Gregory Bateson, sun kira Benedict mai kula da 'yarsu. Matan biyu sun yi tarayya da juna har sai da Benedict ya mutu kwatsam daga bugun zuciya a 1948. A cikin daya daga cikin wasikunta na karshe, Mead ta rubuta:
"Koyaushe ina son ku kuma ina fahimtar abin da rayuwar hamada za ta kasance ba tare da ku ba."
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