UNONYANYA KUZIVA: MIBVUNZO PANE LGBTQ WEDDING TERMINOLOGY
Muchinyorwa chino mudzidzisi Kathryn Hamm, muparidzi uye munyori pamwe naye webhuku rinoputsa "Iyo Art Itsva yeKutora Rudo: The Essential Guide kuLesbian uye Gay Wedding Photography." anopindura mimwe mibvunzo pamusoro LGBTQ muchato mazwi.
Kwemakore matanhatu apfuura Kathryn Hamm anga achishanda padhuze nevane muchato mumhuri kuburikidza newebhuinari uye makonferensi. Uye kunyange zvazvo kuenzana kwewanano Mamiriro uye tekinoroji inowanikwa kumabhizinesi madiki yachinja zvakanyanya mukati menguva iyoyo, mibvunzo inonyanya kufarirwa yaanogamuchira kubva kune nyanzvi dzinoda kuvandudza masevhisi avo kune varume nevakadzi uye nharaunda yakakura LGBTQ haina.
“Ko ngochani dzinenge dziine 'Muroora Nechikomba' here kana kuti 'Muroora neMuroora' kana kuti 'Chikomba Nechikomba'? Nderipi izwi rakakodzera rekushandisa kune varume nevakadzi vakaroorana?"
Muchokwadi, yanga iri imwe yemibvunzo yakakurumbira yaakagamuchira mumakore apfuura. Mutauro wakakosha zvakanyanya mukushambadzira zvinhu (a proactive effort) uye mukutaura (kugamuchira uye kunonangana nebasa). Chimwe chezvikonzero chinoita kuti mubvunzo uyu urambe uripo ndechekuti hapana mhinduro yesaizi imwechete, kunyangwe paine mamwe maitiro akanakisa ekutevera.
Imwe yezvipfuyo zvakakura kune vese vakaroora muindasitiri yemuchato kusimba kweiyo heteronormative, inotungamirwa nevarume inotarisirwa mukuronga uye mutsika yacho pachayo. Chokwadi, izvi zvinomisa vasina-LGBTQ vakaroorana zvakanyanya sezvazvinomisa LGBTQ vakaroorana. Munyika yedu yakanaka, vaviri vakaroorana vane mukana wekutora chikamu zvakaenzana mutsika yekuzvipira iyo inonyanya kukosha uye inoratidza kwavari. Period.
Zvakadaro, tinopa iyi mhinduro pfupi kumubvunzo wako: iwo mazwi chaiwo ekushandisa kune varume nevakadzi vaviri ndiwo mazwi avanoda ivo pachavo. Kana usina chokwadi nekuti, mumaziso ako, vanoita sevari kuwira muchimiro chaunoziva se'basa remwenga' uye 'basa rechikomba,' ndapota vabvunze kuti vanoda kutaurirwa sei uye/kana kuti vari kutaura sei. kuchiitiko uye "mabasa" avo mairi. Never, ever, ever, ever, never ask the couples: “Ndoupi wenyu ari mwenga uye ndiani wenyu ari chikomba?
Ruzhinji rwevakaroora vanozivisa se "varoora vaviri" kana "zvikomba zviviri," asi izvi hazvisi nguva dzose. Dzimwe nguva vakaroorana vanogona kugadzira hunyanzvi nemutauro wavo (semuenzaniso, kushandisa izwi rekuti 'chikomba' kuti rireve chimwe chinhu chisiri chebhairi) uye vamwe vangasarudza kuenda ne" muroora nechikomba" vachizivikanwa zvisingaite. Usangofungidzira.
Ndokumbirawo ita nepaunogona napo kuti usanyanya kufunga nezvenyaya. Iva pachena. Iva anosanganisira. Iva anogamuchirwa. Iva anoda kuziva. Bvunza vaviri ava kuti vakasangana sei. Zvavanotarisira pazuva remuchato wavo. Zvaunokwanisa kunyatsovabatsira uye kuvatsigira. Uye iva nechokwadi chekubvunza kana vaine zvimwe zvinovanetsa zvaungave usina kubvunza nezvazvo. Chekupedzisira, iva nechokwadi chekupa vaviri mvumo yekukupa mhinduro kana wakanganisa mumutauro kana nzira yauri kushandisa. Kukurukurirana kwakavhurika uye kuvaka hukama ndizvo zvese.
“Kazhinji ndaibvunza kuti, 'muroori wako anonzi ani?' Mazuva ano, ndave netsika yokubvunza kuti, 'zita remhuri yemumwe wako ndiani?' …Zvakanaka here izvozvo pfungwa?
Nepo vamwe vanhu vachitaura nezve kushandisa 'wawakaroorana naye' semutauro usina kwawakarerekera - izvo zviri - izwi iri rakarurama kushandisa chete mushure mekunge vaviri varoorana. Inotsanangura hukama hwakavakirwa pawanano (kuchinja kwechimiro chepamutemo). Saka, kana uchimhoresa munhu parunhare kana iwe pachako uye usina chokwadi (uye izvi zvinoenda kune ani nani, zvisinei nehunhu hwepabonde kana kuti munhukadzi), unogona kubvunza zita re'mudiwa wavo.' Ndiyo yakanyanya pre-wanano isina kwayakarerekera sarudzo, kunyanya kana iwe uchange uchiisa izwi mukunyora. Isu tinowanzo kuda mutauro une chimiro chakati wandei, zvisinei, iwe ungangoda dzimwe sarudzo senge "mudiwa," "sweetheart" kana "betrothed;" usatya kushandisa mutauro unoenderana nemaitiro ako.
Imwe yeakareruka kushandisa - mukutaura chete - ndeye muroora kana chikomba. Izwi, iro rinoreva mudiwa waanenge apfimbana naye rinobva kuFrench uye nekudaro rinosanganisira imwe 'e' kuratidza chimiro cheshoko remurume (rinoreva murume) uye maviri 'é's kuratidza chimiro chechikadzi chezwi (it. zvinoreva munhukadzi). Nekuti zvese zvinodudzwa zvakafanana kana zvichishandiswa mukutaura, unogona kureva pfungwa imwe chete (Tiri kubvunza nezvemunhu wauri kupfimbana naye) pasina kuburitsa kuti ndeupi nyaya yechikadzi yauri kushandisa. Nekudaro, nzira iyi haishande mukunyora, asi inzira inoshamisa yekukoka imwe hurukuro nenzira inosanganisirwa uye nemutsa.
“Ndapota mungapa mamwe mazano pamusoro mutauro unogona kushandiswa muzvibvumirano? Imwe kondirakiti, mutauro unosanganisira zvese? Zvibvumirano zvakasiyana, mutauro chaiwo? Ndotanga sei?"
Bernadette Smith weGay Wedding Institute anokurudzira nyanzvi dzemuchato kuti dzigadzire kondirakiti imwe inosanganisirwa zvizere uye isingafungidzire kuti ndeapi musanganiswa wemasevhisi angade chero vakaroorana.
Isu tinofunga kuti iyi ndiyo yakanyanya kunaka tsika yekubatanidzwa - uye, kune izvo zvakakosha, izvi hazvisi zvekungove LGBTQ-inosanganisira. Aya magadzirirwo echibvumirano anogona zvakare kusanganisira kusanganisirwa kwevarume vakatwasuka mukuita, pamwe nevasiri vachena vakaroora. Indasitiri ine basa rakawanda rekuita kuti iparadze "rusaruro rwemwenga" (iyo inorerekera kuchena zvakanyanya). Asi, isu takasiyana ...
Kana zvasvika pachibvumirano uye kushanda nevaviri chero vakaroorana, isu tinotenda chaizvo maitiro akazara emunhu. Izvi zvinogona kureva zvinhu zvakasiyana zvezvikamu zvakasiyana zvesevhisi nekuti kondirakiti inogadzirwa nemugadziri wemaruva yakasiyana nekondirakiti ingashandiswa nemurongi yakasiyana nekondirakiti a. mifananidzo zvinodiwa. Munyika yakanaka, tinofungidzira maitiro apo nyanzvi yemuchato akawana mukana wekusangana nevaviri uye kunzwisisa kuti ndivanaani, mutauro wavanoshandisa, uye zvavanoda. Kubva ipapo, kondirakiti yaizogadzirwa kuti ienderane ivo pachavo. Ichokwadi, panogona kuve nekudikanwa kwemutauro wakajairwa kutenderedza mamwe mazwi, nekudaro izvo zvimedu "zvinogara zvakasvibirira" zvinogona kuvandudzwa nekubatanidzwa uye kwepasirese mupfungwa. Apo mapros anogona kupa chimwe chinhu chisiri generic template uye kukudziridza, nerupo rwevaviri, kondirakiti inovaratidza, zvese zviri nani.
“Izwi rekuti 'Queer'… zvinorevei? Ndinogara ndichifunga nezveshoko iroro semutauro wakashata.”
Kushandiswa kwezwi rekuti 'queer' kwave kushandiswa nekuwedzera frequency mumakore mashoma apfuura. Uye, mubvunzi ndiye chokwadi. 'Queer' raishandiswa sezwi rinonyomba kurondedzera LGBTQ vanhu (kana sekutuka kwakajairika) kwemazana emakore apfuura. Asi, semashoko akawanda anozvidza, nharaunda yarave richishandiswa nayo yakadzora kushandiswa kweshoko racho.
Kunyanya kushandiswa kweizwi iri ndiko kwakanyatso kujeka mukureruka kwaro, kunyangwe zvichitora nguva kuti ujairane nazvo. Kushandisa 'LGBT couples' zvinoreva kuti uri kutaura pamusoro pevakomana nevasikana. Iwe uri kutaura nezve vakaroorana vanogona kuzivikanwa sengochani, bisexual, gay, uye/kana transgender. Vamwe vanozvidaidza kuti bisexual kana transgender vanogona kunge vaine zviziviso zvakavanzika uye vanotenda LGBTQ tsika nemagariro asi vanozobviswa paizwi rekuti 'muchato wemurume nemukadzi' kana vari murume nemukadzi vakasiyana vanozivikanwa. Kupfuurirazve, kune zvakare dzimwe nhengo dze LGBTQ nharaunda dzinozivikanwa se "genderqueer" kana "genderfluid" kana "nonbinary;" kureva kuti, vane zvishoma zvakagadziriswa, zvishoma zvivakwa zvevarume / zvechikadzi zvekuzivikanwa kwavo kwevakadzi. Vakaroorana vekupedzisira ava ndivo vangangotarisana nedambudziko guru muindastiri nekuda kwekuwanda kwe "chikomba" uye tsika dzakanyanya dzechikadzi munharaunda uye indasitiri yemuchato.
Saka, chatinoda nezvekushandisa izwi rekuti 'queer' ndechekuti ishoko pfupi kutsanangura nharaunda yedu yese. Inonyatso simudza pamharadzano yezviratidziro zvezvepabonde (ngochani, ngochani, bisexual, etc) uye chitupa chehunhu (transgender, gender fluid, etc) uye ese ekuwedzera magradients angataurwa nenharaunda yedu uye anotipa meta-tsananguro mu. mabhii mashanu ezwi pane kusiyanisa arufabheti soup (semuenzaniso, LGBTTQQIAAP - ngochani, ngochani, bisexual, transgender, transsexual, queer, questioning, intersex, asexual, ally, pansexual).
Izvo zvakakosha kuti unzwisise izvi nekuti maMireniyamu (vanomiririra vazhinji vevachata vakaroorana nhasi) vanowanzo shandisa izwi iri zvakadekara uye neakawanda frequency kupfuura GenXers kana Boomers. Zvinogona kunge zvisina kukodzera kuti cisgender, heterosexual wedding pro atange kutaura munhu kana vaviri se "queer," asi pro anofanira kunyatso ratidza mutauro iwoyo kune vaviri kana ariwo maitiro avanoda kuzivikanwa. Mukuwedzera, kune vamwe Nyanzvi vanoita zvakawanda zvekugadzira, kusunda muganhu, uye basa rakasarudzika nevakaroora, zvakakosha kuti utarise gadziriso yemutauro wako kushandisa "LGBTQ" uye rengedzo "queer" kana "genderqueer" vakaroora kana iwe, chokwadi, wakagadzirira kuvashandira. . (Uye kana usingakwanise kuti “queer” zvinonzwika zvakanaka kana kuti uchiri kusaziva kuti genderqueer zvinorevei, hausati wagadzirira. Ramba uchiverenga nekudzidza kusvikira wapedza!)
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