KALATA YACHIKONDI: MARGARET MEAD NDI RUTH BENEDICT
Margaret Mead amapirira ngati katswiri wodziwika bwino komanso wodziwika bwino wa chikhalidwe cha anthu padziko lonse lapansi, yemwe sanangodziŵikitsa za chikhalidwe cha anthu komanso anayala maziko a kusintha kwa kugonana kwa zaka za m'ma 1960 ndi maphunziro ake a maganizo pa kugonana. Kuphatikiza pa kukulitsa miyambo ya chikhalidwe kudzera mu ntchito yake, adawonetsanso kusintha kwa moyo wake. Anakwatiwa ndi amuna katatu, ndipo ankakonda kwambiri mwamuna wake wachitatu, katswiri wa chikhalidwe cha anthu wa ku Britain, Gregory Bateson, amene anabala naye mwana wamkazi. Koma ubale wolimba kwambiri komanso wokhalitsa wa moyo wake unali ndi mkazi - katswiri wa chikhalidwe cha anthu ndi folklorist. Ruth Benedict, Mlangizi wa Mead ku yunivesite ya Columbia, zaka khumi ndi zinayi wamkulu wake. Awiriwo adagawana mgwirizano waukulu ndi chilakolako chachilendo, chomwe chinapitirira zaka makumi atatu mpaka kumapeto kwa moyo wa Benedict.
Mu Ogasiti 1925, Mead wazaka 24 ananyamuka ulendo wa pamadzi wopita ku Samoa. Kubwera Kwazaka ku Samoa: Phunziro la Psychological of Primitive Youth for Western Civilization. (Mead, amene ankakhulupirira kuti “munthu akhoza kukonda anthu angapo ndipo chikondi chosonyeza chili ndi tanthauzo lake malo m’maunansi amitundumitundu,” anakwatiwa panthaŵiyo ndi mwamuna wake woyamba ndipo iwo anali ndi makonzedwe osagwirizana ndi makonzedwe amene onse aŵiri anamlola kugwira ntchito ya kumunda kutali ndi iye kwa nthaŵi yotalikirapo ndi kulolera malingaliro ake kaamba ka Rute.) Pa tsiku lachinayi lake la Rute. panyanja, akulemba Benedict ndi magawo ofanana kudzipereka komanso mwachangu:
"Ruth, wokondedwa wanga. . . Makalata amene ndinalandira nditangotsala pang’ono kuchoka ku Honolulu ndi m’makalata anga onyamula sitima sakanasankhidwa bwinoko. Malembo asanu ochokera kwa inu - ndipo, o, ndikuyembekeza kuti nthawi zambiri mumandimva pafupi nanu monga momwe mumachitira - ndikupumula mofewa komanso mokoma m'manja mwanu. Nthawi zonse ndikatopa komanso kudwala chifukwa chokufunani, ndimatha kubwerera ndikukatenganso masanawa ku Bedford Hills masika, pamene kupsompsona kwanu kudagwa pankhope panga, ndipo kukumbukira kumathera mwamtendere nthawi zonse, okondedwa. ”
Patapita masiku angapo:
"Rute, sindinabadwenso padziko lapansi m'moyo wanga - komabe sindimadziwanso mphamvu zomwe chikondi chanu chimandipatsa. Mwanditsimikizira za chinthu chimodzi m’moyo chimene chinapangitsa kukhala ndi moyo kukhala waphindu.
Ulibe mphatso yokulirapo, wokondedwa. Ndipo kukumbukira kulikonse kwa nkhope yanu, kumveka kulikonse kwa mawu anu ndi chisangalalo chomwe ndidzadya ndi njala m'miyezi ikubwerayi. "
Mu kalata ina:
“[Ndimadzifunsa] ngati ndingathe kukhalabe ndi moyo, kufuna kukhalabe ndi moyo ngati sunandilabadire.”
Ndipo kenako:
"Kodi Honolulu ikufunika kukhalapo kwanu? O, wokondedwa wanga - popanda izo, sindikanatha kukhala kuno konse. Milomo yako imabweretsa madalitso - wokondedwa wanga."
Mu Disembala chaka chimenecho, Mead adapatsidwa udindo woyang'anira wothandizira ku American Museum of Natural History, komwe amapitilira ntchito yake yonse. Anavomera mosangalala, makamaka kuti pamapeto pake akhale pafupi ndi Benedict, ndipo anasamukira ku New York ndi mwamuna wake, Luther Cressman, akukhulupirira mwamphamvu kuti maubwenzi awiriwa sadzavulazana kapena kutsutsana. Chigamulocho chitangopangidwa, adalembera Benedict pa January 7, 1926:
“Chidaliro chako pa chisankho changa chakhala chinsinsi changa, wokondedwa, apo ayi sindikanakwanitsa. Ndipo cikondi cimeneci comwe munandikhuthulila ciri ca mkate ndi vinyo wa cisomo canga. Nthawi zonse, ndimabwerera kwa iwe nthawi zonse, ndikupsompsona tsitsi lako, wokondedwa. "
Patatha masiku anayi, Mead adatumiza kalata yowawa kwa Benedict, akuganizira za maubwenzi ake awiri komanso momwe chikondi chimawonekera mwakufuna kwake:
"M'njira imodzi kukhala ndekha kumeneku kumawululira - momwe ndingathe kupotoza ndikusintha momwe ndimaonera anthu opanda chilimbikitso chilichonse kupatula zomwe zimachokera mkati mwanga. Ndidzadzuka m'mawa wina ndikukukondani mochititsa mantha mwanjira ina yatsopano ndipo mwina sindinachotse tulo mokwanira m'maso mwanga kuti ndiyang'anenso chithunzi chanu. Zimandipatsa ine kumverera kwachirendo, pafupifupi kodabwitsa kwa kudzilamulira. Ndipo ndizowona kuti takhala nako kukongola uku "pafupi" limodzi chifukwa sindimamverera kuti uli kutali kwambiri moti sindingathe kukunong'oneza, ndipo tsitsi lako lokondedwa nthawi zonse limangodutsa zala zanga. . . .Ndikagwira ntchito yabwino nthawi zonse zimakhala za inu ... ndipo kuganizira za inu tsopano kumandipangitsa kukhala wosangalala kwambiri.
Patapita milungu isanu, pakati pa mwezi wa February, Mead ndi Benedict anayamba kukonzekera kuthaŵira pamodzi kwa milungu itatu, kumene kumatsimikizira, chifukwa cha ndandanda za amuna awo, kukhala kovuta kwambiri kuposa mmene aŵiriwo ankaganizira poyamba. Atakhumudwa ndi kukonzekera konse, Margaret akulemba Ruth:
"Ndichita khungu pokuyang'anani, ndikuganiza kuti sizingakhale kanthu - koma chosangalatsa cha chikondi chathu ndichakuti zidzatero. Sitili ngati okonda a Edward aja “tsopano akugona tsaya ndi tsaya” ndi zina zotero. amene anayiwala zinthu zonse zimene chikondi chawo chinawaphunzitsa kuti azikonda—Precious, precious. Ndikupsompsona tsitsi lako."
Pakati pa Marichi, Mead adakhazikikanso m'chikondi chake kwa Benedict:
"Ndimamva kukhala womasuka komanso wokhazikika, miyezi yamdima yachikaiko itachotsedwa, komanso kuti ndikhoza kukuyang'anani mokondwera m'maso pamene mukunditenga m'manja mwanu. Wokondedwa wanga! Wokongola wanga. Ndikuthokoza Mulungu kuti simumanditsekera mpanda, koma ndikhulupirireni kuti nditenga moyo momwe umabwera ndikupanga china chake. Ndi chidaliro chanu chimenecho nditha kuchita chilichonse - ndikutuluka ndi chinthu chamtengo wapatali chopulumutsidwa. Sweet, ndikupsopsona manja anu.
Pamene chilimwe chikubwera, Mead amadzipeza kuti ali m'chikondi ndi Benedict pamene adakumana koyamba zaka zisanu ndi chimodzi zapitazo, akulemba kalata ya August 26, 1926:
"Ruth wokondedwa, ndine wokondwa kwambiri ndipo zingwe zambiri zikuwoneka kuti zaphulitsidwa ku Paris. Ndinali womvetsa chisoni kwambiri kuti tsiku lomaliza, ndinayandikira kukayikira kuposa ndi kale lonse khalidwe losagonjetseka la chikondi chathu kwa wina ndi mzake. Ndipo tsopano ndikukhala pamtendere ndi dziko lonse lapansi. Mutha kuganiza kuti ndikuyesa milungu kuti inene choncho, koma ndimatenga zonsezi ngati chitsimikizo champhamvu cha zomwe ndakhala ndikukayika mokwiya - kukhazikika kwa chilakolako - ndikungotembenuka kwa mutu wanu, mwayi wotulutsa mawu anu wangokhala. mphamvu zambiri kuti tsikulo lithe tsopano monga momwe adachitira zaka zinayi zapitazo. Ndipo monga momwe mumandilimbikitsira kuti ndikhale wokalamba m’malo mochita mantha, momwemonso mumandipatsa chikhulupiriro chimene sindinaganizepo kuti ndingapambane m’chilakolako chosatha. Ndimakukonda, Rute.”
Mu September wa 1928, pamene Mead akuyenda pa sitima yapamtunda kukakwatiwa ndi mwamuna wake wachiŵiri pambuyo pa kutha kwa ukwati wake woyamba, kalata ina yowawa kwambiri yopita kwa Rute imatisiya ife tikulingalira za zimene zikanakhala zosiyana zikanakhala kuti zokometsera zamalamulo za chikondi chamakono zinali zenizeni m’tsiku la Mead. ndi zotheka kuti iye ndi Rute akwatire ndi kukhazikitsa mgwirizano wawo wokhazikika pansi pa lamulo:
“Wokondedwa,
[...]
Ndagona kwambiri lero ndikuyesera kuchotsa kuzizira kumeneku osati kuyang'ana dziko lomwe ndidawona poyamba kuchokera m'manja mwanu.
Nthawi zambiri, ndimaona kuti ndine chitsiru kukwatiwa ndi aliyense. Mwina ndingopangitsa mwamuna ndi ine ndekha kusasangalala. Pakali pano maloto anga ambiri amakhudzidwa ndi kusakwatiwa konse. Ine ndikudabwa ngati kufuna kukwatira si chizindikiritso china ndi inu, ndi chabodza. Chifukwa sindikadatha kukuchotsani kwa Stanley ndipo mutha kundichotsa kwa [Reo] - palibe kuphethira pamenepo.
[...]
Kupatula mphamvu ndi kukhazikika komanso kumverera kosalekeza komwe ndili nako kwa inu, china chilichonse ndikusuntha mchenga. Kodi mukudandaula kwambiri ndikanena izi? Simuyenera kusamala - kalikonse mu mphatso yangwiro yomwe Mulungu wandipatsa. Pakatikati pa moyo wanga ndi malo okongola okhala ndi mipanda, ngati m'mphepete mwake muli udzu pang'ono komanso wosasunthika - chabwino, ndilopakati lomwe limawerengedwa - Wokondedwa wanga, wokongola wanga, wokondedwa wanga.
Margaret wanu"
Pofika m'chaka cha 1933, ngakhale kuti ukwati wake unali womasuka, Mead ankaona kuti zinamukakamiza kuti azikondana ndi Benedict. M'kalata yopita kwa Rute kuyambira pa Epulo 9, akuwonetsa zamphamvu komanso kukhumudwa pakusankha kusiya zopingazo ndikumasukanso kukonda kwathunthu:
“Pokhala nditaikira pambali zochuluka za ine ndekha, poyankha zimene ndinakhulupirira molakwa kuti kunali kofunika kwa ukwati wanga ndinalibe mpata wa kukula kwamaganizo. … Ah, wokondedwa wanga, ndizabwino kwambiri kukhala ndekha kuti ndikukondenso. . . . Mwezi wadzaza ndipo nyanjayi ili chete komanso yokongola - malo ano ali ngati Kumwamba - ndipo ndimakonda moyo. Usiku wabwino, wokondedwa."
M’zaka zotsatira, onse aŵiri Margaret ndi Rute anafufuza malire a maunansi awo ena, kupyolera m’maukwati owonjezereka ndi maubwenzi apabanja, koma chikondi chawo kwa wina ndi mnzake chinangopitirizabe kukula. Mu 1938, Mead anaijambula bwino kwambiri polemba za “kukhalitsa kwa mabwenzi [awo].” Mead ndi mwamuna wake womaliza, Gregory Bateson, dzina lake Benedict wosamalira mwana wawo wamkazi. Azimayi awiriwa adagawana ubale wawo umodzi mpaka imfa yadzidzidzi ya Benedict kuchokera ku matenda a mtima mu 1948. M'modzi mwa makalata ake omaliza, Mead analemba kuti:
"Nthawi zonse ndimakukondani ndipo ndimazindikira momwe moyo wam'chipululu ukanakhala wopanda iwe."
Siyani Mumakonda