OKONA IMIBUZO YOMTSHATO WE-LGBTQ WAWUDLA KAKHULU: SIZA KUYIPHENDULA!
Ukuba awuzange uye kumtshato wesini esifanayo, sineendaba ezimbi ezinokuthi: Azifani zonke kwimitshato ethe ngqo. Nangona kunjalo, imitshato phakathi kwabantu be-LGBTQ isanqabile kwaye, kunokwenzeka ukuba, unokuba nemibuzo evuthayo malunga nokuba ungalindela ntoni kweyakho yokuqala. Ngelixa ulwakhiwo olusisiseko lomtshato alusayi kwahluka kakhulu kwimitshato oye waya kuyo ngaphambili - umsitho omfutshane, iyure ye-cocktail kunye nolwamkelo - kuya kubakho omnye umahluko onxulumene nesini onokuba ndinomdla wokwazi. Qinisekisa ukuba awubuzi nayiphi na le mibuzo yomtshato engekho-akukho isini esifanayo, emva koko khangela olu luhlu ukuze ufumane iimpendulo kuyo yonke imibuzo enzima kakhulu ukuyibuza!
Ngaba lo msitho uza kuba ngowonqulo?
Oku kuxhomekeke ngokupheleleyo kwisibini. Ukuba abahlobo bakho luhlobo lwenkolo kubomi babo bemihla ngemihla, amathuba okuba bafumene indlela yokutshata inkolo ngemitshato yabo ye-LGBTQ - i-pun yenzelwe! Liyinyaniso elokuba iinkonzo ezininzi ngokwesithethe azikhange zibe nobubele kubantu abangoozwilakhe, kodwa oko kuyatshintsha. Izibini ezininzi zesini esifanayo zikhetha ukubhiyozela ukholo lwazo kwimibhiyozo yamaHindu, imikhosi yehlabathi ngokukhwaza ukholo lwamaYuda kunye nemitshato epheleleyo yamaKristu yesini esifanayo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuba isibini asiyiyo inkolo, akunakwenzeka ukuba umtshato uya kuhambelana naluphi na uhlobo lwenkolo, kodwa kunoko ukufunda okanye imibongo ebalulekileyo kwisibini. Eyona nto iphambili ayikuko ukuthatha isazisi se-LGBTQ kwaye inkolo iyangqubana ngokuzenzekelayo.
Ndingathetha njani nomntu otshatayo?
Inani labantu abangazichongiyo ukuba yindoda okanye ibhinqa liyanda, kwaye liyanda inani le Imitshato yeLGBTQ iquka iqabane elinye okanye amabini angayi kuba “ngoomakoti” okanye “abakhwenyana.” Kuphephe nayiphi na i-snafus enokuba neentloni ngolwazi olusisiseko ukuba umntu we-genderqueer uya kukukhokela malunga nendlela abakhetha ngayo ukulungiswa. Ngokubanzi, izimelabizo ezichanekileyo zegenderqueer okanye isini nonbhinary people are they, them and their, njengokuthi “uHeather undimemele emtshatweni wabo kwaye andinakulinda ukuvuyisana nabo!” Nangona izimelabizo zisininzi, xa kufikwa kubantu be-genderqueer, ungazisebenzisa ukubhekisa kumntu omnye. Xa ubhalela ikhadi, sebenzisa igama elithi “Mx” ngaphandle kwaso nasiphi na isiphumlisi, ngaphandle kokuba loo mntu ukukhokelele ekubeni usebenzise isihlonipho esahlukileyo, njengokuthi “Gqr.” okanye enye into. Kuphephe ukusebenzisa amagama anjengelithi “umtshakazi” okanye “umyeni,” ngaphandle kokuba loo mntu ubhekisela kuye ngokwakhe ngaloo ndlela. Ngoko, endaweni yokuthi, “Onjani wona ukuba mhle umtshakazi!” cinga ngento efana "Ukhangeleka kakuhle!" ngaphandle kokukhankanywa kwezihloko zesini.
Ngaba abakhwenyana okanye abazali bomtshakazi bahamba nabo epasejini?
Lo ngumbuzo olungileyo, kuba isiko lomtshato liyalela ukuba abasetyhini baphelekwe ngootata babo epasejini ngelixa amadoda elinda esibingelelweni kubatshakazi babo. Xa omabini amaqabane engabafazi, umngcelele usebenza njani? Kuthekani ngabayeni ababini? Oku kuxhomekeke kwisibini. Kanye njengokuba izibini ezininzi ezithe tye zikhethe iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokungena kumsitho njengendlela yokuhlonipha omnye okanye bobabini abazali babo, izibini ezitshatileyo zihlala zithatha isigqibo malunga nendlela yokungena ngokusekwe kubudlelwane babo bosapho. Ngokubanzi, imitshato enabatshakazi ababini idla ngokuba nomtshakazi omnye okhetha ukuhamba ezantsi kwendlela, nokuba ukhatshwe okanye uyedwa. Eminye imitshato emibini yomtshakazi yenza indawo yokuba bobabini abatshakazi bahambe epasejini, ngokwahlukeneyo okanye ngaxeshanye. Kwimitshato enabakhwenyana ababini, ayiqhelekanga into yokuba bahanjiswe phantsi kwendlela, kodwa kusekho iindidi ezininzi kwindlela abakhetha ukuyiqhuba.
Ngaba abatshakazi baya kunxiba iilokhwe?
Unethuba elingama-50-50 lokubonisa umtshato kunye noomolokazana ababini kunye nokubona abafazi ababini kwiingubo zomtshato ezimhlophe. Imitshato emininzi yamalesbian ibona bobabini abatshakazi besonwabela esi siko, kodwa abanye abakwenzi. Akuqhelekanga ukubona umtshakazi omnye enxibe ilokhwe yomtshato kunye nomtshakazi enxibe isuti, okanye ukubona bobabini abatshakazi benxibe. ezifanelekileyo okanye bobabini abatshakazi banxibe iilokhwe ezingezizo ezomtshato. Amathuba empahla yomtshato ayinasiphelo, ngoko ke akukho mpendulo inqunyulwayo kunye neyomileyo kulo mbuzo womtshato wesini esifanayo.
Ndingathetha njani nesibini esisandul' ukutshata?
Kwiimeko ezininzi, unokubabiza ngokulula ngegama labo elitsha-ukuba bakhethe ukuba nefani efanayo. Umzekelo, "Ii Smiths." Ukuba awuqinisekanga ukuba iqabane elinye liya kutshintsha igama labo okanye ukuba isibini sikhethe igama lokugqibela elingathathi hlangothi ukuba libelane nalo, ngoko into eqhelekileyo efana nethi "isibini esonwabileyo" ifanelekile nayiphi na imbalelwano ebhaliweyo okanye ikhadi kwisibini. Ukuba uyazi ukuba isibini esisandul’ ukutshata siya kugcina ifani yaso, kusefanelekile ukubabhekiselele kubo “njengoNksk. kunye noNkskz. okanye “Mnu. kunye noMnu. kwaye ubandakanye zombini ifani.
Kuthekani ngemidaniso yomzali nomntwana? Izithungu zeBouquet? Ukusika ikeyiki?
Kukho ezinye iinkalo zomsitho womtshato ezithi izibini zesini esifanayo ziwole ngentliziyo epheleleyo, njengokusikwa kwekeyiki, ukuba kukho ikeyiki. Abanye, njenge-bouquet tosses, abathandwa kakhulu phakathi kwezibini ze-LGBTQ. Ngelixa unokulindela itheko elimnandi elinezinto ezininzi ezimangalisayo ezimangalisayo kwiindwendwe, ungalindeli ukubona izinto ezininzi zesintu obuzilindele kwimitshato ethe ngqo kwimitshato yesini esifanayo.
Shiya iMpendulo