Indaba Yesiphakamiso sika-Ashlee noCrystal
Sahlangana kanjani
U-Ashlee: Saqala ukwethulwa ngabazali bethu esontweni emuva ngo-2002. Sacofa ngokushesha ngenxa yothando lwethu lwe-basketball. UCrystal wayezilolonga nami amahora amaningi ekugcineni, aye kuyo yonke imidlalo yami, angicabangi ukuthi uphuthelwe owodwa! Sasingahlukani njengabangane futhi ngangimthanda ngokujulile… ngaphezu nje komngane wami.
Ngemuva kwemizuzwana eminingi ebuzwa ukuthi "Ingabe uCrystal uyisitabane?" futhi mina ngitshele uMama wami ukuthi “cha,” Kwakungewona amahloni ukugodla iqiniso lokuthi kwakungeyena uCrystal kuphela owayeyisitabane, kodwa nami ngangiwungqingili futhi ngangimthanda ngokujulile. Kungenzeka ngangisemncane, nokho ngangazi kahle kamhlophe ukuthi ngangingafuni ukuhlukana noCrystal, kodwa uma iqiniso livela kwakuyoba iqiniso lethu. Ngemva kokubuya esikoleni ngenye intambama, ngahlangatshezwa umama futhi wangitshela ukuthi ngingaphinde ngikhulume noCrystal. Ngaphatheka kabi, vele uthando lwami ngoCrystal lwalungeke luvele luphele ngoba umama wangitshela kanjalo. UCrystal wabuyela eLos Angeles, ngavunyelwa ukumsiza ukupakisha usuku ayehamba ngalo, kodwa lokho kwamane kwangicindezela kakhulu. Ngangingalungile ngokuhamba kwakhe, ngangazi ukuthi ngizomnakekela kuze kube phakade. 
Ngokushesha phambili iminyaka embalwa futhi ngihlala eSouthern California futhi ngafinyelela kuye. Sobabili ebudlelwaneni obusha, sihlangana ndawonye ngesidlo sasemini. Akuphelanga sikhathi esingakanani efika esaluni yami futhi wenza izinwele zakhe futhi kuba sengathi siphinde saphinda kusukela kuleyo minyaka emithathu noma emine edlule. Imizwa yami ngaye yayisaqinile, isengokoqobo futhi ngabona ukuthi ngisamthanda. Ngaphinde ngacabanga, sobabili sihlukana singasakhulumi isikhathi eside.
Ngahlala emshadweni engangikuwo cishe iminyaka eyishumi, uCrystal wadlulela kobunye ubuhlobo obude phakathi neminyaka edlule. Kwakungu-2015 lapho ngangise-a indawo empilweni yami ukuthi ngabona ukuthi kulungile ukuthola injabulo yami. Ukuthi ukuzama “ukujabulisa uNkulunkulu nomkhaya wami” ngokungadivosi kwakungeyona impilo kimi noma ezinganeni zami. Nginabantwana abathathu abahle, ngangazi ukuthi ngifuna ukuba uMama omuhle nesibonelo salokho uthando oluyikho, nginomuntu noma ngaphandle kwakhe engangifuna ukuba khona emikhakheni eminingi kangaka. UNkulunkulu ufuna izingane zakhe zijabule hhayi ekhaya eliphukile - Umama wami kubo bonke abantu wangitshela ukuthi ngemva kwayo yonke le minyaka ngesaba ukwahlulelwa emndenini nasebandleni.
Kwaba sengathi ngaso leso sikhathi ngangazi ukuthi ngifuna okungenani ngifinyelele kuCrystal, ngibone ukuthi ukuphi ekuphileni. Ngoba konke ngangazi sasingakaze sikhulume eminyakeni, mhlawumbe wayeshadile nezingane, futhi ujabule?! Kodwa noma ngangazi ukuthi ngiyamfuna empilweni yami, noma ngabe wayezoba nami nje njengomngane, ngangingeke ngimvumele aphinde ashelele.
Ngifinyelele kuye ku-Instagram ngesicelo sobungani. Ngamangala lapho evuma ngokushesha. Saphawula ngokuthunyelwe komunye nomunye, sashintshana ngokushesha izinombolo zocingo, sichitha amahora amaningi ocingweni, ngezinye izikhathi kuze kuphume lelo langa. Sobabili sasisendaweni entsha ekuphileni, sisanda kushada ngemva kokuba nabantu abangalungile iminyaka eminingi kakhulu. Manje ukuze sibe sendaweni ephelele, abesifazane abanamandla kunangaphambili futhi bajabule ngokuthi ikusasa lethu lingaba yini.
Ngamvakashela ngo-10-30-2015 futhi bengingahlukani kusukela lapho. Sesidlule ezintweni eziningi sindawonye kusukela lapho, ukufa kwabantu abayi-7 phakathi nezinyanga eziyi-11 phakathi kwemindeni yethu yomibili, ukuthengisa umuzi, ukufuduka ezweni, ukuhlala e-RV nokuhamba izinyanga eziyi-18, ukushintsha imisebenzi, ukuthenga ikhaya ndawonye nokukhulisa. izingane zethu ezintathu ezinhle u-Ocean (13), uCitlali (10) noZyelee (9).
Sobabili sasizwakalise ukwesaba kwethu mayelana nomshado ephepheni nokuthi lokho kungase kubukeke kanjani, kodwa nokho saba nokuphila sobabili nokuzibophezela kothando komunye nomunye. Ngangingazi ukuthi uCrystal wayeyoke angicele yini ukuba ngishade naye, kodwa kwakuhlale kuyisifiso senhliziyo yami ukuhlanganyela naye lokhu, ukuphatha isibongo sakhe, ukwazi ukuthi wayezongikhetha ukuphila kwakhe konke.
Babuza Kanjani
U-Ashlee: KwakungoJanuwari 8, 2021 lapho amaphupho ami afezeka khona. UCrystal wayecele emasontweni ambalwa ngaphambili ukuthi ngithole usuku lokuphumula ukuze sigubhe usuku lwami lokuzalwa kusenesikhathi ngaphambi kokuba izingane zethu zibuyele esikoleni. Ubelokhu engitshela ukuthi yena nezingane zethu babefuna ukuba nepikiniki ogwini lolwandle futhi bangitholele isimanga ngemva kwalokho. Ngakho-ke siqala ukulungela, futhi ekuseni kakhulu okucindezelayo ngemva kokuba izingane zethu zivuke zikhathele futhi zimangala okwangishiya ngicindezelekile, phezu kwalokho amandla ethu ayaphela ngenxa yokunqamuka okuhleliwe esikhohlwe ngokuphelele ukuthi kwenzekani ngalolo suku ekuseni. Ngakho ngokuphithizela, siqeda ukuqoqa izinto zethu ukuze silibangise kwaCrystal ukuze silungiselele khona. Ngemuva kancane kwesimiso sibheke ogwini.
Saba nesidlo sasemini esimnandi endaweni yokudlela kunasogwini lolwandle, ukuze sifike endaweni esizobhuka kuyo elandelayo. Balethe izipho zami zosuku lokuzalwa etafuleni ukuze ngizivule ngesikhathi sesidlo sasemini, ngakho ngangiwazwa ngempela amadlingozi osuku lokuzalwa.
Sijabulile nganoma yini ababeyihlele ngokulandelayo, sifike e-Gondola Adventures kulo Mgubho Wokuzalwa Omangalisayo. I-gondola yayigcwele ama-rose petals, i-rose yasongwa futhi yangilinda esihlalweni sami, kwakukhona izibuko ezipholile ezinhlanu, i-gondolier yethu yazinika isikhathi ukuthola ezinye izithombe zethu sonke! Kakade inhliziyo yami yayigcwele futhi ijabule kangangokuthi yile ndlela ababefuna ukugubha usuku lwami lokuzalwa!
I-gondolier yethu emangalisayo, u-Kalev, uthe kunemithetho ethile ngenkathi sikwi-gondola, ukubingelela bonke abadlulayo ngokuthi “Buonasera” (nilale ngesi-Italian) kwakudingeka, futhi ukuqabula kuyadingeka ngaphansi kwawo wonke amabhuloho esingena kuwo. Njengoba sisondela ebhulohweni lokuqala, uCrystal wangitshela ukuthi ufuna i-gondola azoletha abazali bami lapha. Ubaba wayengowaseNaples, e-Italy futhi wasuka kithi ngokushesha ngemva kokulwa nomdlavuza, ngase ngikhala kakade. Ngiyabonga ngokuthi ubengacabanga ngalokho, njengoba ngisolwandle kanye naye nezingane zethu ezintathu, ngamangala ngempela ngobuhle balo mzuzu.
Lapho nje siqabulana singena ngaphansi kwebhuloho, uKalev waqala ukusiculela ngesi-Italian - sobabili sakhala izinyembezi zenjabulo, zothando, zokuthula kanye nezobuhle. Savula iwayini kanye ne-cider ecwebezelayo uCrystal ayefike nayo, izingubo zokulala ayefike nazo ekhaya zazimbozwe emathangeni ethu, kwenziwa ithosi futhi nemibono emangalisayo yeNewport Harbour yayimangalisa. Sadlulela endaweni evuleke kakhudlwana echwebeni, lapho kuhlangana khona imigudu emithathu, i-gondolier yethu yasijikisa ikhomba amakhaya ahlukahlukene kanye nezakhiwo zawo ezihlukile, izinhlobo ezahlukene zezikebhe nezikebhe kanye nomlando waleyo ndawo.
Lapho esijika okokugcina, kwabonakala kunomyalezo ebhodleleni elintanta emanzini ngaphambili nje. U-Kalev usiqondise khona, wangitshela ukuthi ngimane ngehlele phansi futhi njengentombazane yokuzalwa kuzoba yimi engizoyivula. Ngisuse kahle i-corked ngadonsa iribhoni egoqwe kahle kakhulu kulo mlayezo.
Ngathi ngiwuvula izinyembezi zase zigeleza, izihlathi zibuhlungu ngenxa yokumamatheka okungapheli, ngahluleka ngisho nokuwakhipha amagama abhalwe kamnandi kanje, agcine ngokuthi “Ngakuthanda ngaleso sikhathi, ngiyakuthanda manje futhi ngiyathembisa ukukuthanda Infinity futhi Ngale. Uthando, Crystal".
Ngemva kokuyifunda ekugcineni, nganga futhi nganga uCrystal futhi ngamtshela ukuthi ngiyabonga ngosuku olukhethekile futhi ngiyakuthanda. Naye waphendula ngendlela efanayo futhi wangitshela ukuthi ufuna ukuchitha ukuphila kwakhe konke nami.
Lawo mazwi ayevame ukukhulunywa phakathi kwethu, ngakho ngaphendula ngokushesha ngathi “Nami ngifuna ukuchitha ukuphila kwami konke nawe!” Ngamangala kakhulu, uCrystal waguqa edolweni futhi wabuza “UZONGISHADA?” Ngokushesha ngathi "YEBO!!!!" izikhathi eziyinkulungwane yebo! 💍
Okwenza lesi sikhathi sibe ngcono nakakhulu ukuthi wayenekhono kakhulu umthwebuli wevidiyo ikuthwebule konke nge-drone, i-gondolier iqophe ividiyo ocingweni lukaCrystal naye othathe amathani amangalisayo. Izithombe.. umzuzu wawuPHELELE! Bekungcono kunamamuvi, kungcono kunalokho ebengingaphupha ngakho, isimanga esiphelele futhi izingane zethu azisizanga nje ukuhlela kodwa zathola lo mzuzu omuhle kakhulu.
Asikwazi ukuyeka ukumamatheka, njalo uma ngibona ring emunweni wami kungibuyisela osukwini lwethu olukhethekile, Januwari 8, 2021. Ngijabule ngokuthanda nokukhanya nokuphila nawe Mi amor! ❤️
Sabalalisa Uthando! Siza Umphakathi we-LGTBQ+!
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