KUDINGEKA SITHOLA IMPENDULO YOMBUZO WOKUZIPHATHA!
Lapho ulungiselela umshado wakho uhlala uhlangabezana nenqwaba yemibuzo okungenzeka awuzange uhlangane nayo ngaphambili. Imibuzo ye-Etiquette mayelana nomshado wakho yilokho okudingeka uphendule uma ufuna ukuphumula futhi ugweme ubunzima emcimbini. Ungakhathazeki lesi sihloko sizokusiza ukuthi uthole izimpendulo ezibalulekile kuyo yonke imibuzo yakho.
1. Zihlukaniswa kanjani izikweletu zomshado phakathi kwemindeni yabashadile be-LGBT? Abazali bakabani bakhokhelani?
Lo mbuzo we-etiquette awukhawulelwe kwabashadile bobulili obufanayo kuphela. Khumbula, bonke abashadile kufanele babuze lo mbuzo. Emasikweni akudala, kwakuhlukahluka kuye ngesiko lombhangqwana. Ngezinye izikhathi abazali bomakoti bafaka isamba esikhulu; ngezinye izikhathi, kwakuyindaba yokunikezwa umhlaba nezindlu kamuva.
Yiqiniso, namuhla, imibhangqwana eminingi ayincikile kubazali bayo; bazikhokhela ngokwabo. Ucwaningo olwenziwe ngabakwa Umshado Wezitabane I-Institute ithole ukuthi amaphesenti angama-84 amadoda angama-gay kanye namaphesenti angama-73 abesifazane abathandana nabanye besifazane bakhokhela imishado yabo. Lolu wudaba okumele kuxoxwe ngalo ngaphambili nabathintekayo, futhi asikho nesisodwa isisombululo sabo bonke abantu.
2. Ingabe wonke amalungu omkhaya kulindeleke ukuba amenywe, ngisho nalawo angasekeli?
Nakuba imishado iwumkhosi ojabulisayo, kufanele futhi kube nomuzwa wokuxoxisana. Uma ilungu lomndeni elithile lisebenzisa umthethosivivinywa omningi, lingase lifune ukumema abantu abazikhethele lona. Embuzweni obucayi onjengalona, yithuba lawo wonke umuntu ukukhombisa ukuthi angabandakanya kanjani.
Umbhangqwana womshado kufanele uchazele izihlobo zabo ukuthi uzizwa kanjani ngokuvumela abantu abathile abangabasekeli ephathini. Kanti ngakolunye uhlangothi, umkhaya wabo kumelwe uhloniphe izifiso zabo.
3. Kuthiwani ngamagama? Kufanele ngikhulume kanjani nesitabane esishadayo?
Imishado yezitabane namuhla ithrenda ekungabafaki esigabeni "omakoti" noma "abakhwenyana." Uma uzama ukuthola impendulo yalo mbuzo we-etiquette Cabanga ngezihloko zabo ngokuphathelene nabangezona ubulili: "abalingani" noma "abalingani bomshado," isibonelo. Lapho ungabaza, thola izinkomba kumbhangqwana: Ingabe umethula omunye “njengomfazi” noma “umyeni” wawo? Uma kunjalo, cabanga ukuthi kuphephile ukwenza okufanayo.
4. Kuyini ukuhleleka kodwendwe emshadweni wobulili obufanayo? Ubani ohamba nobani endleleni?
Nakhu kungaba khona umbuzo odidayo wesimilo noma inkinga lapho unquma ngohlelo lodwendwe. Emishadweni yesintu, ubaba wehla nendodakazi yakhe, umakoti, ukuze ahlangane nomyeni wakhe, umkhwenyana.
Ngemishado yezitabane, konke kuyindaba yokuthanda komuntu siqu, okuthandayo, kanye nezicelo. Kunezinhlobonhlobo kulokhu, ezinye zazo zihlanganisa:
a) Akekho “ohambisa” omunye phansi. Omunye umlingani umane alinde ngase-altare ukuze omunye asondele.
b) Bobabili bayaholana behle ngendlela, ingalo ingalo.
c) Izihlalo zabalaleli zihlelwa ngamaphaseji amabili ahlangana e-altare: Ozakwethu bayasondelana ukuze bahlangane phakathi, nokho, bakhetha: ukuphelezelwa umngane noma ilungu lomndeni, noma bebodwa.
(Into kuphela okumele uyikhumbule lapha, ukuhlelwa kwezinto. Amaphasishi amabili angase adinge ukuhlela okuyikona okusemthethweni Izithombe zithathwe noma zibe nabathwebuli bezithombe abangaphezu koyedwa ocingweni.)
5. Unquma kanjani ukuthi ubani othatha isibongo sikabani?
Ayikho impendulo efanele noma engalungile kulo mbuzo wokuziphatha; kukuwe nophathina wakho ukuthi ninqume. Ungase ufune ukuhamba ngezibongo ezimbili, izibongo ezimbili, noma inhlanganisela yezibongo. Nokho, khumbula ukuthi izwe ngalinye linemithetho yalo yokuthi yini esemthethweni lapho ushintsha igama lakho. Futhi unqume kusenesikhathi; ilayisense yakho yomshado ingase inqume ukukhetha kwakho amagama esikhathini esizayo kwezinye izifundazwe.
6. Ingabe ikhona indlela yokuhlanganisa inkolo emcimbini, ngisho noma amasiko athile (nezinkolo) adinga indima yendabuko yobulili?
Nakuba imikhosi yenkolo yobulili obufanayo ingase ibe nzima ukuyigcina ezindaweni ezithile zokukhulekela nasezifundeni ezithile, uma inkolo ibalulekile kuwe, kunezindlela zokuyihlanganisa. Ukuze uthole impendulo yalo mbuzo we-etiquette kuqala nokubalulekile, yenza ucwaningo lwakho. Nakuba ezinye izinkolo zinobungane be-LGBTQ kunezinye, ngisho nezinkolo zendabuko kakhulu zingaba nezindawo ezithile noma izikhulu abanombono wesimanje umshado.
Futhi uma ungakwazi ukuvikela inkolo indawo, ungesabi ukufaka eyakho imizwa ezenzweni zenkolo noma imibhalo. Amagama okholo angashintshwa futhi asetshenziswe kabusha ukuze avumelane nezimo ezidlulela ngale kwengqikithi yawo yasekuqaleni, ngakho-ke cabanga ukubhala izifungo zakho kanye nokufaka noma yimiphi imizwa yezenkolo ebalulekile kuwe. Noma funa isikhulu esingelona ihlelo (njengomfundisi ogcotshiwe), bese ubuza ukuthi angakwazi yini ukwenza umcimbi wakho ngendlela oyifisayo ukuze uhlanganise izici eziqhutshwa ukholo ngaphandle kokungena enkolweni ngokugcwele.
Uma kukhulunywa ngemikhuba, linge ukwephula imithetho. AmaSulumane anomshado wobulili obufanayo angakhetha ukugqoka i-Mehndi henna (ngokwesiko edwetshwa kumakoti) kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubulili babo bunjani, futhi izibuko ezimbili zingaphulwa emishadweni yamaJuda nabangaphezu koyedwa noma omakoti ababili.
shiya impendulo