IMIBUZO YOMSHADO KA-LGBTQ OMSHADO KAKHULU: SIZOYIPHENDULA!
Uma ungakaze uye emshadweni wobulili obufanayo, sinezindaba ezingase zibe zimbi: Azihlukile kangako emishadweni eqondile. Noma kunjalo, imishado phakathi kwabantu be-LGBTQ iseyivelakancane futhi, kungenzeka ukuthi, ungaba nemibuzo evuthayo mayelana nokuthi yini ongayilindela kowokuqala. Nakuba ukwakheka komshado okuyisisekelo ngeke kuhluke kakhulu emishadweni oke waya kuyo esikhathini esidlule - umcimbi omfushane, ihora le-cocktail kanye ne-reception - cishe kuzoba khona omunye umehluko ohlobene nobulili ongase ube nawo. ngifuna ukwazi. Qiniseka ukuthi awubuzi noma yimiphi yale mibuzo yomshado engekho yobulili obufanayo, bese uhlola lolu hlu ukuze uthole izimpendulo zayo yonke imibuzo okungelula ukuyibuza!
Ingabe umcimbi uzoba ongokwenkolo?
Lokhu kuncike ngokuphelele kumbhangqwana. Uma abangani bakho beyinhlobo yezenkolo ezimpilweni zabo zansuku zonke, kungenzeka ukuthi bathole indlela yokushada nenkolo ngemitjhado yabo ye-LGBTQ - i-pun ihloselwe! Kuyiqiniso ukuthi izinkolo eziningi ngokwesiko bezingenamoya wokungenisa izihambi kubantu abayiziqhwaga, kodwa lokho kuyashintsha. Imibhangqwana eminingi yobulili obufanayo ikhetha ukugubha ukholo lwayo emikhosini yamaHindu, imikhosi yezwe ngokumemeza enkolweni yamaJuda kanye nemishado yobuKristu yobulili obufanayo egcwele ngokugcwele. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma umbhangqwana ungakholwa, akunakwenzeka ukuthi umshado uzohlotshaniswa nanoma yiluphi uhlobo lwenkolo, kodwa kunalokho ukufundwa noma izinkondlo ezibalulekile kumbhangqwana. Okubalulekile ukuthi ungacabangi ukuthi ungubani we-LGBTQ futhi inkolo iyangqubuzana ngokuzenzakalela.
Kufanele ngikhulume kanjani nomuntu oshadayo?
Inani labantu abangazihlonzi njengabesilisa noma abesifazane liyakhula, futhi liyakhula inani labantu Imishado ye-LGBTQ ihlanganisa umlingani oyedwa noma ababili abangeke babe “umakoti” noma “abakhwenyana.” Gwema noma iyiphi i-snafus engase ibangele amahloni ngolwazi oluyisisekelo ukuthi umuntu we-genderqueer cishe uzokuqondisa ukuthi uncamela ukuthi kukhulunywe kanjani. Ngokuvamile, izabizwana ezifanele ze-genderqueer noma ubulili abantu abangezona kanambambili yibo, bona kanye nabo, njengokuthi “U-Heather ungimemele emshadweni wabo futhi angisakwazi ukulinda ukugubha nabo!” Nakuba izabizwana ziwubuningi, uma kukhulunywa ngabantu bobulili obufanayo, ungazisebenzisa ukubhekisa kumuntu oyedwa. Uma ukhuluma nekhadi, sebenzisa isihloko esithi “Mx” ngaphandle kwanoma yiziphi izimpawu zokuloba, ngaphandle kwalapho umuntu ekuqondise ukuba usebenzise isihlonipho esihlukile, njengokuthi “Dkt.” noma okunye. Gwema ukusebenzisa amagama obulili njengokuthi “umakoti” noma “umkhwenyana,” ngaphandle kwalapho lowo muntu ebhekise kuye ngokuqondile ngaleyo ndlela. Ngakho, esikhundleni sokuthi, “Yeka ukuthi umuhle kanjani wena! cabanga ngokuthi "Ubukeka umuhle!" ngaphandle kokuthi kukhulunywe ngeziqu zobulili.
Ingabe abakhwenyana noma abazali bakamakoti bazohamba nabo phansi?
Lona umbuzo ofanelekile, njengoba isiko lomshado liyala ukuthi abesifazane baphelezelwe oyise behle epaseji kuyilapho amadoda elinda omakoti e-altare. Uma bobabili abalingani kungabesifazane, udwendwe lusebenza kanjani? Kuthiwani ngabakhwenyana ababili? Lokhu kulele kwabashadile ngempela. Njengoba nje imibhangqwana eminingi eqondile ikhethe izindlela ezihlukene zokungena emcimbini njengendlela yokuhlonipha oyedwa noma bobabili umzali wabo, imibhangqwana engama-queer ngokuvamile inquma ukuthi ingena kanjani ngokusekelwe ebudlelwaneni bemindeni yabo. Ngokuvamile, imishado enamakoti ababili ivamise ukuba nomakoti oyedwa okhetha ukuhamba ephasishi, kungaba ephelezelwa noma eyedwa. Eminye imishado yomakoti emibili yenza kube lula ukuthi bobabili omakoti bahambe ngendlela, ngokwehlukana noma ngesikhathi esisodwa. Emishadweni enabakhwenyana ababili, akuvamile ukuthi baphelezelwe phansi, kodwa kusekuningi okuhlukahlukene endleleni abakhetha ukuyicubungula ngayo.
Ingabe bobabili omakoti bazogqoka izingubo?
Unethuba elingama-50-50 lokubonisa umshado nomakoti ababili futhi ubone abesifazane ababili begqoke izingubo zomshado ezimhlophe. Imishado eminingi yamalesbian ibona bobabili omakoti bejabulela leli siko, kodwa abanye abakwenzi. Akuvamile ukubona umakoti oyedwa egqoke ingubo yomshado nomakoti oyedwa egqoke isudi, noma ukubona bobabili omakoti izikhwama noma bobabili omakoti begqoke izingubo ezingezona ezomshado. Amathuba wezingubo zomshado awapheli, ngakho-ke ayikho impendulo eqondile yalo mbuzo womshado wobulili obufanayo.
Kufanele ngikhulume kanjani nombhangqwana osanda kushada?
Ezimweni eziningi, ungamane ubabize ngamagama abo amasha - uma bekhethe ukuba nesibongo esifanayo. Ngokwesibonelo, "The Smiths." Uma ungaqiniseki ukuthi umlingani oyedwa uzoshintsha igama labo noma uma umbhangqwana ukhethe isibongo esingathathi hlangothi ukuze wabelane, khona-ke okuthile okujwayelekile njengokuthi "umbhangqwana ojabulayo" kulungele noma yikuphi ukuxhumana okubhaliwe noma ikhadi lombhangqwana. Uma wazi ukuthi umbhangqwana osanda kushada uzogcina izibongo zabo abazinikeziwe, kusafaneleka ukubabiza ngokuthi “Nkk. kanye noNkk.” noma “Mnu. kanye noMnu. futhi ufake zombili izibongo.
Kuthiwani ngemidanso yomzali nengane? Amathosi we-bouquet? Ukusika ikhekhe?
Kunezici ezithile zemikhosi yomshado izithandani eziningi zobulili obufanayo ezamukela ngenhliziyo yonke, njengokusikwa kwekhekhe, uma kukhona ikhekhe. Abanye, njenge-bouquet tosses, abathandwa kakhulu phakathi kwemibhangqwana ye-LGBTQ. Nakuba ungalindela iphathi ejabulisayo enezimanga eziningi ezithokozisayo ezivakashini, ungalindeli ukubona imisebenzi eminingi yesintu oyilindele emishadweni eqondile emishadweni yobulili obufanayo.
shiya impendulo