UNGALOKOTHI UBUZE ABATHANDI BE-LGBTQ ABABANDAYO NGALOKHU
Uma uthola izindaba ezinhle kubangani bakho zokuthi sebethembisene umshado manje, siyaqiniseka ukuthi ujabulile ngabo futhi ufuna ukwazi. Cishe banemibuzo eminingi evela ezindaweni zonke, ngakho qiniseka ukuthi awengezi amazwana noma imibuzo okungenzeka ukuthi ayinazwe.
Ingabe uzoba nomshado “ovamile”?
Uma sikhuluma iqiniso, imikhosi yokuzibophezela ye-LGBTQ yesikhathi esedlule ayizange ifane nemikhosi eyayisingathwa yizithandani. Nokho, njengoba uthi futhi, ekugcineni, isizwe, waqaphela ukulingana emshadweni, imibhangqwana eminingi yobulili obufanayo yaqala ukuba nemishado emihle yendabuko enakho konke okulungisiwe kozakwabo abaqondile. Lokhu akusho ukuthi umshado wakho wokuqala wobulili obufanayo ngeke uhlanganise okumbalwa okugoba ubulili noma okumangazayo kwamasiko, kodwa cishe uzolandela uhlaka lwayo yonke eminye imishado oke waya kuyo ngomcimbi omfushane, ihora le-cocktail kanye ireception enomculo omningi nokudansa. Ngakho-ke, yeqa lo mbuzo, RSVP "yebo" futhi ulungele ukuba nesikhathi esimnandi!
Ngakho-ke, yimuphi phakathi kwenu oyindoda/owesifazane?
Ukube imibhangqwana eminingi yobulili obufanayo ine-nickel ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho ibibuzwa ukuthi iyiphi indoda (ebudlelwaneni bobulili obufanayo) noma owesifazane (ebudlelwaneni bezitabane)….kungaba nama-nickels amaningi. Nakuba lokhu kungase kubonakale njengombuzo ongenacala noma ohlekisayo, empeleni kuyacasula kakhulu. Sekwanele ukuthi uma kukhona abantu besifazane ababili abathembisene umshado, ayikho indoda kulobu budlelwano. Okufanayo kuya kwabesilisa ababili abathembisene umshado - akekho kubo ongowesifazane. Nakuba abanye abantu be-LGBTQ bengase bakhethe izethulo zobulili ezingahambisani nobulili ababebunikezwa ngesikhathi sokuzalwa (okungukuthi owesifazane okhululeke kakhudlwana ezimpahleni zabesilisa, futhi ngenxa yalokho okhetha isudi noma i-tux yomshado), ngaphandle kwalapho ehlonza njenge-trans noma uketshezi lobulili, ababi obunye ubulili.
Singena nini lapho sithi “Ina Madoda?” Ngaphambi noma ngemuva kokudlala kwe-Gay Chorus?
Nakuba singeke sasho ngokuqinisekile ukuthi umngane wakho noma ilungu lomndeni wakho uhlele ini ngomshado wabo, cishe ngeke ubukeke njenge-Pride parade noma omunye umcimbi womphakathi we-LGBTQ. Ungalindeli ukubona ukuhwebelana okungcwele kothingo amafulegi noma uzijabulise ngeculo lezitabane ngesikhathi sokudansa kokuqala. Lokhu akusho ukuthi ngeke uzwe ukuthi “I'm Coming Out” noma “Same Love” ngesikhathi sokwamukela, noma uthole ukuvuma ngekhanda kancane kumphakathi we-LGBTQ ngesikhathi esithile kusihlwa, kodwa kungukuthi “ ukuziqhenya” kungasho izinto ezihluke kakhulu kubantu abahlukahlukene. Emibhangqwaneni eminingi yobulili obufanayo, isiko le-LGBTQ ngeke lifake isandla emishadweni yabo njengoba bekhetha ukugxila ekutheni bangobani njengabantu ngabanye nanjengezithandani.
Ngeke ushadelwe esontweni, akunjalo?
Kuyiqiniso ukuthi izinkolo eziningi azikaze zamukele abakhulekeli be-LGBTQ, kodwa lokho kushintsha ngokushesha, futhi imibhangqwana eminingi yobulili obufanayo iyakhetha izindawo zokukhonzela zemikhosi yabo yomshado. Kusukela emikhosini yendabuko yamaHindu kuya emishadweni exutshwe namasiko enkolo yamaJuda kuya emishadweni yobuKristu elandela imithetho, imibhangqwana yabesifazane abathandana bodwa kanye nezitabane banezinketho eziningi zokuhlonipha ukholo lwabo phakathi nomshado. Futhi nakuba abantu abaningi be-LGBTQ bephila ukuphila kokuziphilisa, kungase kube buhlungu ukucabanga ukuthi umbhangqwana wobulili obufanayo othembisene umshado awukhonzi inkolo, noma unobudlelwano obunezingxabano nenkolo.
Ingabe nina omakoti nijabule ngokuthenga izingubo zokugqoka?
Imvunulo yomshado ingenye yezinto ezivelele kakhulu ze Imishado ye-LGBTQ, ikakhulukazi imibhangqwana enabesifazane ababili. Ngenxa nje yokuthi ababili obathandayo obathandayo banqume ukuthembisana umshado, ungajabuli kakhulu ngethemba lokubona izingubo zomshado ezimbili zendabuko. Abaningi, nakuba kungebona bonke, abesifazane abangama-queer bazozizwa benethezekile ngezingubo zomshado ezingezona ezendabuko Ingubo yomshado. Imvamisa, umakoti oyedwa uzogqoka okuthile okwethulwa ngowesifazane, njengengubo, kanti umakoti oyedwa uzogqoka okuthile okubonisa isilisa, njengesudi. Kwesinye isikhathi, omakoti bobabili bazogqoka amabhulukwe noma amasudi. Ezinye izikhathi, omakoti bobabili bazokhetha izingubo zokugqoka, enye engumthunzi wendabuko omhlophe, futhi omunye umbala. Amathuba awapheli emishadweni yomakoti emibili, ngakho esikhundleni sokubuza lo mbuzo, vele ubonise futhi ulungele ukumangala!
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