HOW TO SUPPORT LGBTQ COMMUNITY AT MY WEDDING CEREMONY
The day of your wedding is coming, we know you are totally prepared but it’s always a place to make it even better. If for oyu it’s important to show your part in the pride and you want to support community at your wedding ceremony, here we have some good advices for you.
Be inclusive with your wordin
While things have gotten much better over the years when he and his now-husband would book a hotel room together, a string of questions would follow: “Two rooms?” “One or two beds?” And so on. But it wasn’t the inquiry that would bother him; it was the facial and body language. “Out of that entire conversation, it was the raised eyebrow that used to annoy me the most,” he says.
As couples send out wedding invitations, don’t make any assumptions with wordings, like ‘Mr. & Mrs.’ or ‘Husband and wife.’ Instead, ask guests for their desired honorifics and pronouns in advance. If you book a hotel block for your big day, double-check with the manager that all people of all orientations and gender identities are welcome and will be comfortable. You never want your loved ones to begin the wedding weekend on a negative note — especially one that can be exceedingly hurtful.
Be willing to ask question
When you choose the people who will witness the start of your marriage, you likely know them somewhat well. But as you go through the process of wedding planning, you’ll come across vendors you’ve never met or associated with in the past. This means you may use an incorrect pronoun or say something disrespectful unintentionally. The same could be true with a child or plus-one of a friend or family member who identifies as transgender. Or, possibly, they could have just recently come out as gay or bisexual. During this sensitive time, they need extra love, and if you’re unsure on how to interact with any of these individuals.
“No one gets it right the first time. How are we as a society to learn how anyone else wants us to speak to them if we don’t ask?” he says. “As an event planner, many of my couples come from multiple backgrounds and cover all ages, sexes, races, and religions. I take the time to ask how the couple feels most comfortable in reference to all the above categories, and if there comes a moment I’m not quite sure, I ask.”
Only work with vendors that are inclusive to al
A wedding is an expensive investment, and for most couples or families, one of the most significant purchases they’ll ever make. So if you have the cash to spend, why not ensure it goes to a vendor or venue that’s inclusive? And actively demonstrates their support and allyship with the LGBTQIA+ community? While finances aren’t the only way to drive impact, choosing companies that do not discriminate is a step in the right direction toward equality for all couples and all forms of love.
Err on the side of kindness
It may seem like a no-brainer, but kindness goes a long way. And to remember that sexual identities and genders are not the only aspects of our lives that define us. “No matter what your background, there are going to be some common experiences that all of us share. Use those experiences to be inclusive in your conversation,” he says.
This means not reacting because a man mentions his husband or a woman mentions her wife. These are all relationships, like any others. In all of your wedding planning — and day-to-day interactions — prioritize acceptance and tolerance always.
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