While their first wedding held more traditional trappings of a wedding, their second was much more relaxed. “We felt strongly that this was more of a punctuation mark and a legal necessity, not the wedding. That, we feel strongly, happened back in ‘99. We would have had one aisle in a garden ceremony but Hurricane Dennis drove us inside. We did have a friend trumpet us with humor down the aisle as we were escorted by our siblings — she played two rounds of “Here Comes the Bride” with a big pause between the two. As favors then, we did offer personalized water bottles for our Bride Ride, a bike ride, and croquet tournament. We didn’t have bouquets, cake or a traditional first dance. Basically, we only did what we thought felt right to us as a meaningful ritual for our commitment and celebration. So we avoided most wedding traditions unless we saw a meaning in it or an opportunity for humor.” For the first wedding, the brides wore dresses and slacks and sweaters for the legal marriage. “I liked to call our most recent style, ‘courthouse casual!’”

For their 2013 marriage, Kathryn asked a friend of hers from college, who also is a judge for the D.C. Superior Court, to officiate. “We did it on a Saturday morning at the courthouse and then walked a few blocks for a delicious barbecue lunch. […] I think Amy summarized it best during a toast. For our legal marriage ceremony, there were more wrinkles, more gray hair and more kids!”

Perhaps most touching is the way Kathryn and Amy incorporated their son, Caleb, then 7 years old, into their wedding. “We added in a sand ceremony to reflect our commitment as a forever family since our son was too young to remember his adoption ceremony. It was really powerful and, call it a mother’s intuition, but I get the sense that something internally shifted in him as he understood our commitment as a family and his role in it in a new way.”