After many moments of being asked “Is Crystal gay?” and me telling my Mom “no,” It was not out of shame that I withheld the truth that not only Crystal was gay, but I too was and I loved her deeply. I may have been young, however I knew very well I didn’t want to be apart from Crystal, but if the truth surfaced it would become our reality. After coming home from school one afternoon, I was met by my Mom and was told I was never to speak to Crystal again. I was heartbroken, of course my love for Crystal wasn’t just going to go away because my mom told me so. Crystal moved back to Los Angeles, I was allowed to help her pack the day she was leaving, but that only crushed me more. I wasn’t okay with her leaving, I knew I would forever care for her. 

Fast forward a few years and I am living in Southern California and I reached out to her. Both of us in new relationships, get together for lunch. Not long after she comes to my salon and gets her hair done and it’s as if it’s us all over again from those three or four years prior. My feelings for her were still strong, still very real and I realized I was still in love with her. Again thought, we both part ways not talking again for some time.

I stayed in the marriage I was in for nearly a decade, Crystal moved on to other long relationships over the years. It was in 2015 that I was at a place in my life that I realized it was okay to find my happiness. That trying to “please God and my family” by not getting a divorce was not healthy for me or my children. With three beautiful children, I knew I wanted to be a good Mother and example of what love is, with or without someone I wanted to be present in so many capacities. God wants his children happy and not in a broken home – My Mom of all people told me that after all these years I feared judgement from family and the church. 

It was as if in that very instant I knew I wanted to at least reach out to Crystal, see where she was in life. For all I knew we had not spoken in years, maybe she was married with children, and happy?! But regardless I knew I wanted her in my life, even if she would only have me in it as a friend, I wouldn’t let her slip away again.

I reached out to her on Instagram with a friend request. To my surprise she immediately accepted. We commented on each other’s posts, quickly exchanged phone numbers, spending long hours on the phone, sometimes until that sun came up. We were both in a new place in life, newly single after being with the wrong people for too many years. Now to be in the perfect place, stronger women than ever before and excited at what our future might hold.